Drugs are my only escape from a world where nothing ever seems to get better.

-Was physically abused by my parents (mother in particular) for as long as I can remember up until age thirteen after i threatened to call the police.
-Was verbally abused until I couldn’t deal with it anymore and had to leave home at eighteen.
-Started cutting at age thirteen to cope.
-Had two suicide attempts at age fourteen and fifteen. 
-So horribly bullied at school I had to drop out.
-Got pregnant at sixteen.
-Had a miscarriage and had to deal with losing my child.
-Was cheated on many times by the only person to ever really make me feel loved.
-Was given so much shit for the guy I was with and lost almost every one of my friends.  
-Was given MDMA for the first time in october.
On it every weekend, high on weed almost every night. Drugs are my only escape from a world where nothing ever seems to get better.
I want so badly for someone to notice. For someone to realise that I’m on a slippery slope into a dangerous spiral. I need to be saved, but no one notices, and even if they did, who would care?

I have manic depression. I’ve tried so hard to get through everything, to keep it all to myself, to cope with it. But then I found drugs, and then I gave up. Why should I continue to be strong? I don’t see things getting any easier anytime soon. Why be strong when you can be high?
This is not an attention seeking post, I know no one will read it, let alone respond. 
It’s just my silent cry for help so I can say ‘at least I tried’.

I will be back soon guys, I keep this blog entirely separate from my personal life and personal blog. This is the one time I will break that rule.

This is my personal blog.

Anonymous asked:
Hey, are you OK? I've been looking in on your tumblr for a while now, and I've been getting kinda worried, what with your extended absence. Everything alright?

Thankyou for your concern anon, it means a lot.
I’ve been having a hard time with life in general at the moment, so running this blog has not been the top of my priorities lately. I will be back soon though, although I can’t say with confidence that I won’t go away for a while again.

Thankyou for checking in <3 

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